Joke about lawyer

今天上到有關法律的課 書上說了一些有關律師的笑話 大家來猜看看吧
1.How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? 你怎麼判斷一個律師是否正在說謊？
2.What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? 律師跟吸血鬼有啥差別？
3.Vampires only suck your blood at night! 吸血鬼只在夜晚吸你血
4.What do lawyers use for birth control? 律師對於節育有啥貢獻？
5.What’s the difference between a lawyer and God? 律師跟神有啥差別？
6.What do lawyers have in common with rhinos? 律師跟犀牛有啥相同之處？
7.How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? 怎麼防止律師溺斃？



答案：
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips move!
觀察他嘴唇在動-他只要一開口就是滿口謊話 （感謝阿秉提供）

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
Vampires only suck your blood at night!
吸血鬼只在夜晚吸你血 而律師是無時無刻都在吸你的血…

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personality!
他的人格特質---律師太討人厭了 以至於沒有肯跟他在一起的人 更不用說有人想幫他生小孩

What’s the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer!
神不認為他是個律師---神不會決定誰是誰非 他不讓自己是個律師 但反而律師卻覺得自己是神

What do lawyers have in common with rhinos?
They’re both thick-skinned, short-sighted – and always ready to charge!
他們都是厚臉皮 短視近利 而且隨時準備Charge…這裡是一個雙關
犀牛隨時準備Charge 意思是他們隨實做好要打鬥的準備
律師隨時準備Charge 這個Charge意思是收錢啦

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head!
把你的腳從他們頭上移開---大家都討厭律師 都恨不得一腳把他們踩到水裡
所以只要你放他們一馬他們就不會淹死了啊…

這種英式幽默大家還看的懂嗎？